My mentor is 95. A couple of months ago, he fell on ice. Miraculously, he broke nothing; even though it was bitterly cold outside, there was, again miraculously, no damage from the cold. He hit his face and needed 30+ stitches, some of them in his eyelid, but when the stitches came out ten days later there was no scarring; a week after that, nothing was visible, even if you knew what you were looking for. He got home from PT last week, so this morning, he, my friend Chris, and I went to breakfast at Hy-vee, a weekly tradition ever since I moved here in 2012. He was carrying a cane and walking carefully but upright; he ate an omelette and drank coffee. All of this is familiar. It would be easy and comforting to say that he’s back to what he was. But he’s tired in a way he has never been before this. It’s no surprise, but — well. Well, indeed. Brace yourself, Kij.
10 thoughts on “Not wanting to see things.”
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I had a lover who was in poor health; facing that, telling him he could die when he hurt too much to live, talling him how much I loved him, helped avoid any of the “if only I had said…” reactions that come after some deaths. And I made a few plans for my own care, since I knew I’d be too numb to think. Thirty-odd years later, I still cry.
Rachel, I feel really lucky (well, sort of lucky), that I knew for years that I would lose my dad. He had Alzheimer’s and slipped away as I watched; but every time I saw him, I said what I had to, and stored memories for later. I am so grateful for that. I will miss Jim, so much.
PS to previous comment:
But I would not have missed a moment of the time I spent with him, for anything.
Yeah, I can understand that.
This made me so sad– and scared. But thank you for posting.
There’s nothing we can do, except make sure he knows what he means to us.
Glad to hear Jim’s doing well and hope to see him for the Campbell weekend. You too, Kik, of course.
Looking forward to seeing you, too!
Oh, it’s been so hard and scary to watch this, while at the same time it seems he’s incredibly tough.
He really is. No one else could be doing so well in such a situation.